Sunday, December 31, 2006
the year's ending and the new 1 is beginning
how have you been this year
its been a rough year for me and there are tons of obstacles that i've passed
well... i've learnt alot, changed alot
started the year busy with ogl and byg
well it seems to be a journey of confidence
gained alot of confidence during my ogl week
lost alot during byg
mm figure out that the more serious the consequences are of my actions
the less confidence i have
studied hard for my block test and thats when i got closer with the ny clique...
then the worst of the worst happened
in a flashed i lost my brother
i lost my sincere laughter
i lost more freedom
i lost more tears
i lost the very soul i wanna nuture up
i lost the friend whom i never grew close to
i lost the companion at home
i lost... half of me...
everything was rough...
things helped back home with the world cup
as men... me and my dad grew close
then it was the mids and the prelims...
tried hard to study tried hard to stay focus...
seems so hard
A's come and go... screwed up from the 1st day till the last...
finally everything ended with me being fatigue...
fatigue of everything...
well... woke up... slept... and hope things go smooth...
and know what??
i'm still searching for my laughter
i'm still hoping to smile from my heart
to find the cheerful jieyan back...
hopefully...
next year??
hope so...
really hope...
my New Year Resolutions:
i wanna be more confident
more outspoken... more friendly
i hope to be happy
wanna be less bothered so easily by people around me
i wanna mature up
in the way i dress and my thinking
maybe i'll read more
i'll find more shirts?? haha
i wanna think more about my future...
or should i say more sure of what i want and who i wanna be in the future...
find a decent job to last me for the 3months
then work up physically for my army...
finish the 1st year of army in a fine state...
i dont wanna think too much
i dont wanna be emo so easily
i dont want anything bad to happened to my family...
i dont wanna be so controlled by others
well then happy new year everyone...
-rain keeps poring-
11:29 pm
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
haha yes another long post to wrap everything up
thurs- 21dec
went out with karen... haha finally after so long for the both of us to meet... haha and some more that day was the last day of my black hair... woke up in the morning and realise i dont hav my wax... then since i'm meeting her at 3.30, i went down to compassvale to walk walk and got my wax... haha had a very very good style that day... mm went around walking in the already-so-boring orchard road... no christmas mood... haha... took neoprints... mm very nice ones... shall upload it on my next post... had ajisen too... nice chatting and the day ends with me so luckily saw this book for my mortal that has alot of cartoons for most situations like congrats,family,love, friends etc... then for every picture comes with a quote or a line that hold its meaning... haha very sweet de... was thinking that connie mj pf all see liao will oso wan... haha too bad only for my mortal... hope she likes it...
fri- 22dec
argh dye hair day... excited?? no... super nervous... haiz i'm always so nervous whenever i cut hair by a new hairstylist, new hair cut or now esp my 1st dye... the feeling sux... cos i'm really afraid of screwing up my hair... already low self confidence... cannot have a bad hair colour... mm went down to singpost around 10.30-11... mm spent alot of time thinking what to dye la... mm in the end the hairstylist help me chose the colour and give me a little free highlight on the fringe.... mmm then end product?? haha very satisfying... although still afraid people will say i beng la... but personally its very dark... even for the highlight... haha peifen and xinying were the 1st to see it and they say not bad... haha then followed by xinyu... mm walked around xinyu in the afternoon... haha her mood was bad la after the short amounts of sleep... mm in the end help her find what to buy for her mortal... haha and got the autographed zhen yuan chang's pic... bad lamination by the sales lady la... wasted...
sat- 23dec
meet out with felicia and weiting for lunch... i ate at home le then had to see them eat AJISEN... argh so hard to endure not eating a bowl la... weiting say she dun like my highlight... sad... haha then meet up with kokjing while we went down to be mr delivery man for stuff to peifen... mm so finally felicia and weiting meets peifen and peifen finally meets felicia and weiting... mm me and feli left for our class steamboat at marina... karen they all see my hair le say beng... heartbreak!! eat le then go orchard then go home... mm nth much...
sun- 24th dec christmas eve
mm meet xinyu to finish buying her mortal's stuff... mm met her at orchard mrt and ate at lunch... we went down to sommerset there to get her hat... then walked back to taka to sit down and chat but met this lady to promote her savings stuff... then went wisma for starbucks... haha it started raining so we asked peifen to come over and find us had coffee standing up cos there wasnt any space for us... mm went down to the 1st floor and we took photos!! haha peifen was so in the christmas mood that she brought her camera... mm walked around until the rain stops then me and xinyu went far east so as to not make xinyu's day an unfruitful 1 beisdes buying her mortal's prex... mm went there and she bought hairclips then we went to take neoprints!!
woot!! my 1st neoprint with the new hairstyle... haha very nice neoprint oso... haha then xinyu rushed to bugis to find her friend while i went back to find peifen... haha she sugested to stay for countdown... so ok lor stay lor den meet xinyu den pf dont feel like staying le but in the end we stayed and went down orchard road for the countdown... mm not very good stuff happened but in the end we had our small share of fun during the countdown and also while avoiding the battles and skidding our way out... mm then went home... suprise suprise no christmas mood...
mon- 26th dec christmas
mm since i slept 5.30-6am in the morning i woke up at 12.30pm realising that im gonna be late... rushed to bath and didnt really styled my hair but on my way out i was like thinking mm mayb i should try wearing my jacket for my white shirt... haha mm endure the heat lor... since not really gonna walk orchard most prob... haha so wear until very smart today la... still thinking about me perspiring too much but haha juz try to kep myself cool... mm met the rest and the 1st thing bei tian mj say was -beng- wah i was like a bit upset la... haha cos thats what i dont want my hair to be, although i know regardless what colour i dye , i'll still look beng... either alot or a little... haha went to reserve billy bombers then had our lunch at the food court, meet up with the rest then went to catch -a night at the museum-... funny show... not much content but worth the laugh... mm anyway we went to have our dinner then the gift exchange!!! haha so exciting... mm here's the link -connie-bei-yiwen-tian-beng-xinyu-mj-connie- and -peifen-me-xiying-justin-peifen... mm guessed my angel like yesterday le la... haha recieved a bodyshop cologne, toblerone, pictures, an envolope of dried petals small notes and letter... haha yupz all these stuff are her ideas for gifts for other people just that she use it on ME for dry run... lol... mm dinner le most left le then left me bei pf and connie... sat down at mac for a short chat before leaving too... haha took some pics on our way back...
tomorrow's boxing day although there isnt any gift for me to open this year, i still love this day more than christmas eve and christmas... haha mm maybe mahjong tomorrow... haha dunno... if not then i'll juz be slacking around at home then...
haiz time shoots like rockets... so fast everything has passed... and the new year's comin, the chi new year then getting our results then ns...
haiz its all gonna come so soon..
mm been speaking about confidence quite these few days...
haiz my new year resolution for dunno how many years le...
i wanna be more confident...
i know it does take some time... but i've been like trying for so long
and i dont seem to be improving...
i'm still of such low confidence... so much so that it scares me...
it stops me from doing what i can
and it makes me feel so weak and so hurt
that i'm so sick of it...
i wanna be confident
i wanna feel good...
but now i figured that i'm still so far away from what i want to achieve
even from changin so much from my sec sch...
i'm still so afriad of doing the wrong stuff and disappointing people...
haiz hope next year will be better...
haha next year's comin in less then a week's time...
well lets hope everything is so much better next year
so much better...
-rain keeps poring-
1:45 am
Thursday, December 21, 2006
haha long since i blogged
mm back from genting and super high!!!
haha i cheong like how many days le...
mm o.O let me see
last last weekend
haha work ot for sat den left early for sun then its genting!!
mm met them at nite at golden mile
kinda regret chosing grassland for the rest
cos my family and i are pretty much used to the bus so haha pretty comfy for us
but for the rest the seats are not really that good
anyway didnt slept much and when we're there we were all tired out for fun
1st day ruined
haha 2nd day we had our indoor stuff
3rd was outdoor but tragically it was raining but i tried most coasters except my fav space shot
haha the rest almost all didnt dare to try la
4th day was the tragic day cos 3rd day nite think we ate the wrong stuff for dinner
haha that nite i'm already dizzy but i'm still pooling and bowling... but bowling was good cos i keep getting very good shots although my stomach is in pain... finish the game and i was trying to get back to the hotel asap but cannot tahan rushed to the toilet outside bowl... came out half dead but i didnt last long before i started to vomit into the trach bins... wow... all kang kong... lolx... i was still very high that nite... haha was still smiling even after like 5 times of diarrheoa... tried to sleep although my head is spinning when i close my eyes... woke up 3am vomitting... i seem to have started a chain reaction cos 3others woke up either feeling very uncomfortable or vomitted... haha so in the end the 5of us who were down went to see the doc at genting... took a jab and loads of pills... vomitted my pills the 1st time...
mm went back to s'pore with a bad stomach and haha a very fun experience even with the food poisoning...
cos mm u truely see ur friends caring for u, tuggin u into bed, checking ur temperature, taking care of u when u're really weak... its very touching and warm to the heart... haha u know ur frenz care about u all the time but when the actions truely takes place... it is really very touching... haha... thanx peeps... luv ya guys...
mm came back le slept 1 whole day after that next 2days work with a bunch of asshole and idiots... bryan and co. was a very good bunch of uncles to work with... haha they're understanding and they know when to work and when to slack... and their attitude are welll acceptable... haha but the new bunch of people are super slackers with bad attitude and not really friendly... treat us like we're their slaves... mm nvm thank god only 1 weekend... but ya wasted only made ard 70+ for that weekend... if bryan were there i wouldnve earned 150... haiz...
after that went out in the morning on monday toget stuff for amanda's party
my 1st costume party neh!!
haha muz dress up as goth... mm dark nails dark lining
haha went far east to shop for wings and my choker haha got our stuff but not really cheap though...
mm got a lingerie for her at far east and went down to the house of condoms to get other stuffs
haha went past i.p. zone and justin saw this jacket that seems to be suitable for me... mm wasnt expensive ard 35... mm but it did look good on me... haha =) then it was suitable for the party since its a black jacket and i just need to put it on with the spike choker and done... haha went to the cashier and when i paid the cashier i found out that it was 40% off... so only ard 27.30 haha super cheap and it was the last jacket of the size... haha lucky me... now i can clear a shirt/sweater since it can be use as a sweater/jacket... anyway we went down to the house of condoms to get six condoms for the 1st six days of the week and a plaster for george (amanda's bf) for sunday to rest... haha... the party in the nite was fun although i hard a bad hairstyle haha and was barred from drinking... cool photos taken too...
mm went back peifen's house to take our stuff but ended up tonning... mm left me with pf connie bei en and ming jue... yupz all girls except me... chatted and all of us snuggle up in her room... wasnt sleeping almost the whole nite cos of the alarm clock's ticking... cant stand...
next day morning(tues) back home to change and meet feli... mm watched eragon... typical storyline... mm average movie... haha ate pizza again... haha everytime we meet up we eat pizza... lolx...
wed went praying in the afternoon and asked bei justin and peifen over to my house for dinner and mahjong... haha nice game... cos the game involved money!!! welll very little 5cents 10cents only... haha but still it was fun... lost 2.50 though... haha... and now its 5am and i'm still bloggin... haha tml meeting karen... mm haha neoprints!!! although i seriously tink my hair is super ugly...
haha this week super busy... mm fri i'm gonna have my hair cutted and dyed... cool... but dunno if its gonna look good... sat steamboat... well details are still in the process... sun yv christmas but not sure if its still on... mon haha ny clique christmas outing... watching nite at the museum and angel mortal gift exchange...
haha so packed...
mm been pretty high for so long... mm o.O???
通常越高的雪山，雪崩时破坏能力越大
打一支针时，会觉得是好玩
第二是刺激。
但针打多了，
或打对地方时，
是会痛的。
而且痛得很深。
但谁会知道呢？
只有那心甘情愿被打得人，
他自己最清楚。
-rain keeps poring-
5:11 am
Sunday, December 03, 2006
a fruitless day
and a stomach full of anger...
okay the day started out superb,
woke up at 8 and saw diane's msg...
haha suprised suprised busy girl's free and ask me out!!! haha
met her on the bus around 10.30
haha figured out we're wearing 情侣装
cos i wore a plain white shirt with jeans and she wore a white shirt with some patterns from pure milk haha and jean shorts... haha lao gong lao po...
went down to orchard cos she wanna get jeans and shop...
haha went over to peifen there and ya she looked super dead and super ill...
haiz wrong timing for a job
anyway left for fish & co at wheelock and met this very pleasant and pretty waitress
and this funny counter girl
haha i told the waitress 'a seat for two' and added 'can i have a window seat?'
then the counter girl answered with a 'of cos u can seat anywhere' cos we're the only customers there...
so the pretty waitress served us an both of us thought for a while on what to eat...
she came over and ask if she could helped with the menu and i was like ' its okay we'll managed'
haha then when we ordered the salmon dishes then she told us that they've no stock on salmons haha no wonder she was like insisting on helpin us with the menu...
mm both of us chatted for a while and yupz enjoyed the brunch with a grilled seasonal fish... not really bad... mm but kinda not my taste... anyway when we left the place the counter girl said ' bye! 1st customer of the day!' lolx
mm walked around and chatted quite a bit haha mm continue our shoppin trip tommorow at vivo... mm diane's so hard to meet up la...
anyway left for queenstown (justin wee beng joel meng jiat peifen)... haha almost all were late... but haha i dont mind we've got time... time's what we have... plenty... except for joel... lolx army soon...
mm went walking around for my stuff but couldnt find any... mm hard to please and some more i look for the 'feel'... but anyway saw this v-necked shirt... nice design but the shop owner run out of sizes... mm... so left for other shops... peifen joined us soon... mm then the shittiest mood changing event happened... fuck...
went to this shop named sub and joel and justin were like opposite buying pants... i'm drifting between sub and the shop opposite looking for jeans... mj pf and wb went to the other shop beside the shop opp sub... k nth happened... then the girls and wb came over to discuss whether or not to cut more prices... mm then i'm listening while looking around for jeans... thats when the son of a bitch bastard asshole owner came over to find trouble... came over and whack the racks of jeans just pushing them as hard as possible while pretending to check the jeans.... fuck man my hands were just seconds away from getting slammed in betweens those racks... fuck the bastard okay fine nevermind give him face then i walk away... still he went over to scold wee beng for leaning too close to his jeans when they'll all just discussing with the gals and there is not even a customer in his bloody shop... fuck the idiot la... as if anyone would be obstructed by us and are interested in those fucking ugly peice of shit u called them jeans... sucky attitude and trust me i swear never to step into the shithole shop... people please do me a favour and boycott this bloody shop named SUB!!! yes SUB 2nd floor of queensway shopping centre... tell your frenz too... dont let bad services persists like those provided by this fucker...
spoil my mood for the whole day completely... fuck... its like i've got a high threshold of people's attitude and yet this guy simply get on my nerves... its like i'm still angry now la especially i can do nothing about it... fuck fuck fuck... like i said i can bbq anything on my chest right now... argh!!!
ok nevermind... help me by boycotting this shop... and if anyone help me by insulting the owner or in some way get revenge... get a drink from me... my treat...
phew... ok drop the subject... mm found a pair of jeans in a shop... wasnt thinking straight anymore... the rage is building and building inside me... haiz... mm its justin who pointed out the jeans and i was like mm not bad ok try okay take... mm after that almost all left for home and me and justin went to ps with joel who's meeting his frenz... mm me and jus went to a bookstore and i found myself 2 diablo books... pretty good books to start my reading hobby again... haha been years since i touch any novels... mm must read more.... then left ps for taka and went to their kino to see more books... was shown by justin some really good books... mm not really my cup of tea but will be considering once i settle down on a decent job... left taka for lucky plaza to play pool... mm finally i feel better and yupz was really a good game with justin... minimal tico... went back taka for a small shop and left for home...
back home... bad mood again... got a mouthful from mom... cos i spent too much time outside and stuffs... haiz...
well sometimes i really feel that i'm borned not to stay at home... but i cant... tied down...
tired and sleepy...
dont wanna fall asleep again...
sometimes u managed to wake up...
but the environment remains...
u're still in the environment that caused u to fall asleep in the 1st place...
so how do u stay awake??
i think i'm just clinging on to the fact that "hey since i'm awake i shouldnt fall back to sleep"
i'm trying know...
trying...
-rain keeps poring-
1:33 am
Friday, December 01, 2006
mm its been a while since i really use my mind for something educational isnt it??
its been such a while
mon was simply girls shopping!!! i wasnt bored at all la... when was i ever bored with shopping?? haha just that i really wasnt much of a help in earrings... so sorry... mm anyway the day ended on a moody note... mm helpless me again... dont know what to do to help... haiz...
tues was complete bore!!! mm stuck at home... was simply thinking of staying in the morning to appease my mom and dad... and i got stuck for the whole day... couldnt even go out for the class outing... kinda sad that i drifted off from my class, not that i was very close with them before but... mm yupz never had a chance to truely know them...
wed was a super unlucky day for me... couldnt really enjoy the badminton cos i had scrapped my finger in less than 1hr of the game then couldnt hold the racket properly... sux... then go justin house just to eat dumplings from pf then need to go all the way to lavender... passport extension... haha mom saw my official signature... haha she say very nice haha... mm went home to know that the rest went vivo... argh i presumed they'll be at justin's house all the way... so yupz bored at home... couldnt touch gundam cos the peeled skin is a bit wet den my art knife is rubbing it... sux
thurs wasnt any better... helped the j1s back school... mm pretty redundant that we're there la... couldnt do much... went home straight... bored...
fri--- today
presumably nothing to do... the night before i was complaining that i'm so bored stucked at home for the past few days... then asked some of my class people out for pool... haha actually only got ian and liyin... pool then shopping for ian's prom shirt... mm then in the morning just before i left house wei ting called to meet me at 5 at vivo cos she getting a watch then i was lyk SURE!!! haha so long never see her le... she super busy la... ok then on the mrt to dhoby pf msged saying that she's working at wheelock place then say can go visit her... ok since i'm free why not?? ok so i'm suppose to wheelock before i meet wei ting... okok... reached ps 1.30 met liyin... then waited for ian for 1hr... imagine a guy late for 1hr... haha ok its not really his fault but anyway we played pool then i left at 4.15 sorry guys... very short meeting... promise i'll stay throughout the day k?? bought mineral water went wheelock's place at 5... mm pf's voice is like so long gone... but she needs to giv out flyer and answer visitors qns... wow... wonder how she last tml... mm anyway met wei ting at around 6... mm walked around bought her fossil watch... mm make me wanna buy a watch too... couldnt find something that suits me after so so so long without wearing a watch... cos very very few watches suits my wirst... hard to explain... anyway mm walked around and had dinner out at the habour front coffee shop near the bus terminal to sentosa... then chatted and went home around 9/10...
mm been thinking alot of stuff lately
little more than i usually does...
mm dont know how to share it though...
mm waiting for a chance to just pour it out...
mm chances?? haha... okay i'm bored...
there's a difference between relaxing with nothing to do
and completely bored out with nothing to do...
i'm the latter...
cant stand having nothing to do...
but when u wanna go out... u gotta be prepared to spend money
i need a more decent work!!!
2 advantages...
1- i can have more capacity to go out
2- i'll be too occupied that i dont have time to go out spend money!!!
-rain keeps poring-
11:21 pm